Let him be the gentlemen

The other day I was watching very appalling news coverage on Tv of a story that reminded me of how our society has flipped the scripts.A woman had decided that she would buy her boyfriend tickets to his favorite basketball game,a ring,and then at halftime propose to him.A few years ago I would have thought wow how sweet she's so in love she couldn't wait for him to propose.When in reality he's suppose to be the gentlemen that goes out of his way to express how much he loves her. 

I didn't know this before since Ive  lived in a household my whole life without any men around.So the only type of behavior I knew of as a child was the one I would see in television,hear in radio,and read in magazines.The majority of the stories didn't really paint a pretty picture of how men should treat women.I honestly believed that its okay for women to tolerate anything.

Wasn't until last year that I met Godly men who respected me,looked out for me,and even bought me things without asking for anything in return.They would go out of their way to give me ride a home even if it were miles from where they live. These men reminded me that if there's something heavy around I shouldn't even have to lift a finger they'll carry it for me.I also won't ever hear them speak vulgar offensive language about women around me.If they were to see me in a gloomy state they would say something humorous that would uplift me.Women know your worth don't ever settle for someone thats just a nice guy with good looks.The word gentlemen says it clearly men are suppose to treat you with the uttermost gentle care. 

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7 NIV)

Power of words

The words sticks and stones may break my bones but words sill never hurt me is a false saying.Words have a lasting effect.A physical impact can easily be treated with medicine an emotional one requires a longer process of healing. Whether it was peers,educators,or supposed friends they all were immediate to speak words of inferiority over my life.They trashed my identity,placed me in insolation,and caused me to hide my true self.

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. (Proverbs 18:21 NLT)

For a time I lost my cheerful personality and It almost seemed like I would never regain back my joy. I would hear the verse Rejoice in the lord always but I just couldn't get myself to do so.It felt as though a dark cloud had appeared over me and everything looked dim and gray.I couldn't see past the negativity because I was blinded by the thoughts of others.I probably heard the words your stupid,worthless,and ugly to many times to even count.

The words resounded so loudly at one point it became to difficult to tune them out.I didn't consider myself capable of accomplishing anything.I started to believe all the words were true statements. Going to class was like preparing for battle I had to decide either to camouflage myself,hide,or armor up for defense.The default position I choose was permeating sadness I would run home to a corner and just cry until there were no tears to shed. Four words that I have now grasped on to are  let there be light.... It has to happen because he said it.There are so many words of encouragement that are written to me from the one who designed me that are far more important than what anyone else has said of me.

Final thought careful with words you say may  the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. (Psalms 19:14 NLT) 

Dating?

Young couples you see them everywhere in movies,commercials,on Instagram,and Facebook.It doesn't take much for me to get bubbled up with excitement when I hear about all the love stories on how couples met.If there's one thing that catches my eye is how adorable my  peers look in their pictures together.Thinking wow they look so great together it's a match made in heaven.

    

     Someone the other day truly made me ponder on the thought of dating.No one had ever directly asked me why aren't you dating?.At church I get asked all the time from older women are you married to anyone? Or are you dating someone?.After hearing these questions constantly at one point I thought of making someone up. Yet is it so wrong for me to say I'm content with the unfailing infinite love I've found in Christ.A love that can't even be fathomed or measured.

We live in a society that loves everything to be instantaneous.If everything can happen in a matter of seconds we consider it glorious.Were so rushed to immediately enter a relationship we don't stop to think is this the person God intended for me. Time goes by more quickly than you think.Its in our singleness where we have the time to personally nurture and grow our relationship in Christ.Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. (2 Timothy 2:22 NLT)As college students its at this point in our lives where we have the time and energy to serve him and be apart of a movement of reaching students for Christ. 

    I want to be able to reflect back and tell my children how wonderful and joyful  it was to use all of my downtime to serving God.How faithful God can be in providing for us.How he supplied  all the resources and support needed to extend the kingdom.Just as he did that in ministry he can do the same in our own finances as a family.

   Yes I wont deny have moments where I am anxious wondering God what will he be like?An equation of relationships I have come to understand Is  right person+wrong time=wrong person.Opportunities to date will always arise but by dating at this age Im settling for second best. Ephesians 5:25  is a great example of the kind of man I will patiently wait for.A husband that will love me the way Christ loved the church.

Of course your wondering what was my response to the person who asked why am I not dating?Its simple I'm waiting on the Man of God he designed just for me.Im not in a rush at all to be with someone.While I'm waiting I'm productively allowing God to make changes on the inside of my heart.So that when the day comes I'm equipped and aligned with my husband in the same mindset prepared to raise up a generation of men and women of God.keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. (Jude 1:21 NIV)

Imperfect

As a teenage gal I would skim through the  pages of magazines obsessing  over the latest clothing trends having a sense of dissatisfaction  if I don't own a certain item that everyone else was wearing. Tracking down what store would lead me to that item.If only I had used that same time to read what  God tells me of inner beauty less time and money would have been wasted.Not realizing that as a woman of God I'm already Clothed in strength and dignity. I wish someone would have told me that those countless hours of scrummaging wouldn't fill the obvious void in my heart of  desiring to feel accepted  by others.

  Thinking the more trendy I look the more people will notice me and use that as a shield to hide my deepest insecurities.I'm already treasured by the one who created me shouldn't that be more than enough. She is more precious than rubies, And all your delights are not comparable to her. (Proverbs 3:15 ISR98).Not understanding that there's a lovely  interior beauty that doesn't acquire lavish hairstyles or extravagant makeup.

   Although a makeup foundation would cover up the imperfections on my skin that made me self conscious around others.A much greater foundation needed to be set on the inside with Christ. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one we already have—Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 3:11 NLT).Contentment should have been found in knowing theres a man who loves me regardless of my appearance that chose me before the foundation of the earth.That the beauty of a pure heart will have us looking more radiant than any other impeccable model from a magazine.A notable reflection of his joy and peace that's beyond human comprehension will have others noticing a certain glow that wasn't visible before.

Running after the approval of others will only leave you empty and dry.Allow his majesty to wash away all the false lies,negative thoughts,and undignified words that were spoken over your life.External perfection may be appealing to the eye but its only temporal and will surely fade away.Im now striving for a different kind of perfection that can't be bought because its already been purchased by the blood of Christ.who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins. (Colossians 1:14 NLT)